C’mon, little camper! Remember what we used to say? Yes we can! C’mon, you can say it: yes we can! Yes we can!
Oh fine, nevermind then.
Seriously. In this shot from President Obama’s post-election press conference in Thursday’s New York Times it looks like he just had to put down his dog Bo with his Pappy’s hunting rifle.
–lori
What About the Children?! Edition
Keep the kids home from school! Lock your doors! Write your congressman! We have to protect our children! No, not from swine flu — from the president!
Jim Greer, chairman of the Republican Party of Florida, wins the prize this week as either Right Wing Wingnut in Chief or Best Exploiter of Feigned Outrage for Short-Term Political Gain. Either way, his and others attempts to block President Barack Obama’s planned back-to-school speech to kids next week hits a new low in cynical crapitude.
Here is Greer’s press release, issued earlier this week:
As the father of four children, I am absolutely appalled that taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama’s socialist ideology. The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power. …
President Obama and the Democrats wouldn’t dream of allowing prayer in school. Christmas Parties are now Holiday Parties. But, the Democrats have no problem going against the majority of American people and usurping the rights of parents by sending Pied Piper Obama into the American classroom.
I’m kinda at a loss here.
–lori
Take a Chill Pill (If You Can Afford One) Edition
Jesus Christ, are you kidding me with these friggin idiots?! Just stab me in the ear with a ballpoint, it will hurt less.
Many of the same hardened corps of nutballs who are convinced that President Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim are now bringing their special brand of crazy to a town hall near you. The subject: health care reform. Or as some would have it: the end of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
When Obama has to begin his health care speeches by reassuring the more shout-y elements of the audience that he is not in favor of allowing their grandmas to die slowly, you get a sense of how far out of hand this debate has gotten.
It’s getting embarrassing, man. The rest of the world doesn’t have this problem. The rest of the world doesn’t think that making sure everybody can go to the doctor without worrying about how much it will cost is a sign of the oncoming Rapture. And they watch our news! What they must think of us?!
–lori
“Where’s She Going? I Dunno, Alaska” Edition
“See ya … wouldn’t wanna be ya!”
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is now just Sarah Plain and Tall, after leaving office this week for … well, no one’s really sure.
In her farewell speech, Palin said:
It is because I love Alaska this much that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics as usual, lame duck session in one’s last year in office. How does that benefit you? No, with this decision now, I will be able to fight even harder for you, for what is right, for truth. And I have never felt like you need a title to do that.
So, it’s her duty to avoid her last year in office. She’s doing this to benefit us. And for once, I think she’s right.
Now, for someone who says she wants The Media to leave her alone, it would be kinda great if she just went away.
William Shatner attempts to make some sense of Sarah Palin’s farewell poem, … I mean speech.
–lori
Facing His Waterloo Edition
If we’re able to stop Obama on this, it will be his Waterloo. It will break him.”
Sen. Jim DeMint, Republican of South Carolina, was caught in the accidental act of telling the truth this week, when he took an issue that affects all Americans — their access to affordable heathcare — and reduced it to an act of political one-upsmanship.
It seems Sen. DeMint doesn’t care whether or not President Obama’s plan will help address the problem of the uninsured or reform a system that rewards insurance companies and hospitals at the expense of doctors and patients. He just wants to stick it to the president, like the patriotic American he is.
Interesting stat I heard today: five out of six Americans have health insurance. And three out of four of those are satisfied (if not happy) with that health insurance. Some in Washington take this to mean that Americans don’t really care about healthcare reform.
Ya know the stat I’d like to see? I’d like to know how many Americans have a horror story — or, if not a horror story, a story of major inconvenience — about their experiences with their health insurance company? How many have waded through forms and phone calls, endured clerical errors, been denied a claim, etc., because or the vagaries of their health insurance provider?
Having lived in Scotland for a time, I just wish we could have a system like other civilized countries. You know – one where people don’t go bankrupt because they’ve been diagnosed with cancer or because their husband was hit by a motorcycle. Must be nice.
How the other half (and by “half” I mean “just about every other Western democracy”) lives.
–lori
Yes SIR, Mr. President, sir!
The Obama presidency is truly groundbreaking. Barack Obama will be the first African-American president, the first president from the state of Hawaii, the first president to use email, and the first president with six-pack abs.
–lori.
I’m a wannabe millionaire plumber from the heartland of Real America; what’s not to love?
Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher hit the campaign trail in Ohio this week with John “The Maverick” McCain and Sarah “The Crazy Governor Lady” Palin.
I kinda felt sorry for Wurzelbacher during the media’s initial build-him-up-then-tear-him-down love affair with the plainspoken lug from Toledo. He’s not exactly the sharpest tool in the box, and there he was with the national press camped out on his front lawn after he was mentioned, like, four thousand times during the third presidential debate.
But now, he seems to be bringing this on himself. Don’t get me wrong: plumbers, Joe or otherwise, have just as much right to spout inane half-baked political opionions as cable news pundits or Barbra Streisand do. At this stage though, it might be best for Wurzelbacher to keep his thoughts (such as they are) to himself. Here are some actual quotes from Mr. The Plumber:
“I love America. I hope it remains a democracy, not a socialist society.”
“I’m going to go ahead and agree with you on that.” J the P in response to someone in the crowd at a McCain rally who claimed that a “vote for Barack Obama is a vote for the death of Israel.”
“You know a lot of the stuff that our government is doing right now is all about taxation without representation and you know the last time that happened a couple guys got together and threw the Brits out.”
“I have parents; I don’t need another set of parents called the government. You know, let me take my money and invest it how I please. Social Security I’ve never believed in, don’t like it.”
This stuff must resonate in Real America, but I’m a native of Fake America, so I wouldn’t know.
–lori
