The Goddess Watches the Mid-Term Elections (so you don’t have to)

I have to be honest and admit that I have not been paying as much attention to the political scene as I once did. After last summer’s healthcare town hall screech-fest, I just kinda lost my liking for it. But the pizza is in the oven, and the wine is on the table, and I feel like it’s going to be a long night.

7:01 – The one hope the Democrats had to pick up a GOP Senate seat is gone right out of the gate, as the first Tea Partier of the night — Rand Paul of Kentucky — is projected the winner. Paul wants to get the federal government off our backs, but would criminalize abortion in all cases, including rape and incest. So he’s one of those guys.

7:30 — More projections. With 0% of the precincts reporting (huh?) Rob Portman wins the Senate race in Ohio.

7:40 — CNN’s “Best Political Team on Television” is more like “The Most Dysfunctional Committee Meeting on Television.” They’re  jumping all over each other, speaking all at once, not even listening to each other, and just waiting to get their turn to be the cleverest kid in class.

8:00 — “Everyone remembers Christine O’Donnell. She’s the candidate who said she was not a witch. She’s not going to be a US Senator either.” Ooo, that’s cold, Wolf. As cold as a witch’s tit.

8:45 — CNN projects the gun-totin’, rootin’, tootin’, cap-and-trade shootin’ Joe Manchin is the next Democratic senator from West Virginia. That’s a relief.

9:00 — New York polls close and — surprise! — Schumer, Gillebrand, and Cuomo are in. In sad news, the awesome Rochester mayor Bob Duffy will now become the pointless lieutenant governor of New York.

9:46 — Christine O’Donnell’s concession speech is a long list of things she asked her opponent to do during what I’m guessing was a very awkward phone call.

10:20 — Haven’t heard much about my home state yet. My parents’ Bucks County, PA, district has once again been held up as a bellwether race for the soul of the suburbs, or something like that. All I know is it’s one Irish Catholic running against another.

10:40 – Well, crap. I asked for news from PA and I got it. PA governor goes to GOP, Senate race 50-50. C’mon, West Coast! I need some good news.

11:00 — OK, gotta switch over to the Daily Show.

So after a bottle and a half of wine and a GOP takeover of the House, I think it may be time for bed and the hope that the Republicans stated top priority of repealing the meager healthcare reform bill stays the stuff of nightmares.


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